Jan 5, 2006
till 20..
a week to go before i turn 20.. its ironic coz i dont wanna turn 20.. ahaha but aint gonna happen.. i went out tonight with my sister and her boyfriend.. went partying whole night.. and got drunk.. but not the type that i tend to forget what im doing.. just a little bit tipsy.. Hahahaha.. my sister's boyfriend got drunk super drunk..
on the 10th day of January I'd be exactly 20 years old and still ranting over nonsense things about life.. still thinking of the what if's and how's and why's but i still can manage to move on. Its such a brat why i tend to overdo some things that i must not do. (seeeee... im making such non sense entry.. like my mind is i dont know)
Im tired... most of my days.. have been torture there are nights where i get sick often. im tired.. just tired....
annamikaela grooved at
02:01 am
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Dec 31, 2005
ouch...
I always thought that love is being happy when your with that special someon that you cant imagine life with out him. But then its not just that, but being happy with your self when your with that person. Where you could be yourself, no lies, no pretensions, just you and your real self. Through out my 3 year relationship I've come to realize that I have lost my One True Love over someone I thought was the one...
annamikaela grooved at
03:36 pm
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Jul 8, 2005
Weeeee....
Weee... no updates ehh.. sorry folks.. ive been super busy with school..
ill try to write something laters.. ciao!!!
annamikaela grooved at
09:54 am
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Jun 11, 2005
And So It Rained
These past few days Ive been thinking of going to school again.. and which i did, i enrolled myself back again in school. On Tuesday, Im going to school. Im taking up HRM, for no particular reason. I'm nervous and excited at the same time.. How will things go on the first day? I hope it wont be disastrous.
Whew.. right now i dont feel very well, I'm sick but I'm bored staying at the house so i decided to go out and visit my friend. It was hot outside, right now we are talking about people he knows and i dont.. i just keep on listening on what he is saying.. and actually i dont undestand a thing. Shhhhh.... Blah! Blah! Blah! hehehehe..
*Sigh* as much as i dont want to receive anything from someone who broke my heart, he keeps on giving me stuff.. its making me sad. Because i cant do anything about the situation. As I was thinking of everything that happened between us, i suddenly hear little drops of water, and then it rained...
annamikaela grooved at
07:08 pm
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May 23, 2005
Summer...
I had the most wonderful Summer ever.. it may sound ironic of me breaking up with my ex and just last night i spent the most wonderful summer outing with my ex's family.. I was so excited to wake up early that i had to wake up as early as 5am to get prepared.. uhm.. by the way my ex did not come, thats whay i agreed to go when his Ate asked me to come with them. It was a little awkward at first coz i was thinking that they hate me but then it was much more different than i expected.. I never thought that they would miss me that much as much as i miss them.. Actually i just arrived from our little trip.. hehe i am sooo happy that i know i have to share this one
It was kinda emotional coz they keep on asking me about my ex especially her aunt, sister and brother.. but it was good that i manage to answer every question they ask me about the relationship. And at the end of the day the past was just the past and we just enjoyed the time we had.
We went swimming at the beach and we got to see the beautiful corals and i did manage to get a starfish.. hihihi.. sigh i didnt get the chance to bring the picture.. but maybe one of these days ill share my pictures here.. oh well i have to go now.. I'm so tired..
annamikaela grooved at
07:23 pm
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Apr 23, 2005
After All...
Well.. i dont Exactly know when was the last time i posted here.. Oh well life has been like hell these past few months.. and i never got the chance to sum it up here... But i guess I'm ok now..
Arrggghhh, I dont know how to start and how to end it.. but im gonna start with after my b-day my life has been a mess, just because of some people trying to make it worse. I tried to get away from things and get away from people so that i could have time for myself and see what direction i have chosen to go... After a while i got used to being away from everyone but then I got depressed thinking that im alone with so many problems to solve. Most of the time i drive away my friends.. and even my cousins. It all stopped when one night someon close to me went to my place and talked to me about things and maybe i was stupid, but what can i do im just human. I make bad decisions... :(
I'm trying to get back all the things that i have left behind and thought of running away from.. Its hard but I guess i'll be doing fine.
Uhmm... i miss posting stuff here... and i miss you all :D
annamikaela grooved at
05:31 pm
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Feb 18, 2005
Died...
I dont know what i want to write here.. but surely ill do something really nice... next time i log in..
I have been pretty busy and had a sad life.. argggghhh i gotta run now..
I miss all my friends.. i miss you all guys.. take care..
Anna <3
annamikaela grooved at
09:10 am
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Dec 23, 2004
An Unexpected Call
While I was busy surfing the net and playing some online games. I just felt so sad and so depressed its like I dont want to spend christmas anymore. And then out of the blue my cellphone rang and ooohh nice it had a "CALL" on the screen and i thought Who could it be? It can by my sunshine or my Sister or my step dad or my Mom?
Aha.. just as i thought it was my mom callin me.Yay i felt relieved and happy after not hearing from her for a long time. I was most happy to know from her that I'll be goin to Vallejo late next year with no exact date. Well at least its a start, I'm ok with it as long as I know im going home to my family. Waahh i wish my mom would send me some presents hehe..
She said she did but it would not arrive till late january.. whoa thats like next year. But ok ok.. it'll be all cool with me. And yeah i've spoken with my step dad.. I can't catch up while he was talking and i didnt understand a thing...
Hihi.. well i guess my christmas will be happy after all this me being so too emotional and sad. A phone call from my parents is worth to make my day and my Christmas a merry One..
annamikaela grooved at
11:12 am
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Dec 21, 2004
Is the Feeling Really Gone?
When i thought i was over him, i start to think about him again. I was checking my Friendster and then i thought what if i try to see his profile again. I even thought that he deleted me in his friends list, coz that was what he did last time he was angry with me and stuff. I cant even bear the thought that we've drifted apart without knowing why.
I tried everything to calling him and writing him letters but then i didnt receive any reply, i thought maybe he was busy with work. But even so, i just find myself caught up in a situation where the pain he cause me wont cease. The hardest part was trying to live and move on with my life and not a single word from him. Now im too afraid to send anymore letters, or give him a ring. I'm afraid of what he is going to tell me. I'm afraid of what he would tell me about us in the future. But I'm more afraid of him telling me that we'd start over again and be a couple again.
Im confused and hurt...
annamikaela grooved at
10:03 am
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Dec 19, 2004
Emotions
Loneliness in a dark room;
Where sorrows entiwned with darkness
Where silence is shattered by
Shrieks of nightmares
I too have found this place
Confusion over raging emotions
Of Depression, of happiness, of bliss, of pain
Of joy, of sorrow, of loneliness, and of love
All these is emptiness wrapped in silence.
Stuck in the middle of nowhere struggling
And lost in the stillness of your light
Pounding walls of freedom and
Endless suffering bound to perish.
Emptiness filled with confusion
Power of an understanding paradise
Defeated by weakness, guilt and self-fishness
Challenged by its existence.
Tortured beings of madness
Seeking truth and forgiveness
Left with vague inspiration
This too shall end
Now this is what happens when I'm too damn bored.. i get to write things im not suppose to write. but i did feel this emotions lately. And its sad
annamikaela grooved at
05:21 pm
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